Growing up as a child, I was a dog person. I had a dog at a young age and my dog, like most dogs, wore his emotions on his sleeve. He would go crazy and wag his tail feverishly when I came home from school and was never one to shy away from affection.
As an adult, my wife and I decided to get two baby kittens to start our family, so to speak. Having never owned a cat, I went about treated them just like I did with my old faithful, loyal dog, Rusty. I was in a world of shock when my cats would run away every time I came near them. When I picked them up, they whimpered and did everything in their power to get out of my clutches. My wife, who grew up with cats as pets, had no trouble in wrangling the kitten’s affections and as a whole, they took to her a lot better than me. I asked my wife why this was happening and she simply told me that I needed to let the cats come to me on their own terms. I then decided to take this advice and sure enough, as I calmed my approach to them down and allowed them their space, they eventually warmed up to me.
This same approach works wonders in dealing with clients and people as a whole. More often than not, when two or more individuals have a dispute, their first instinct is to get their point across at all costs without really allowing the other person or persons into the conversations. This was how I approached my cats, who would quickly retreat due to the overwhelming nature of my affection. This is comparable to real life disputes when people feel attacked and overwhelmed, they often do not respond in a productive manner and usually the debate escalates without much progress.
However, if one were to go into a legal dispute, or any type of conflict, with the attitude of allowing the other person to express their point of view without jumping all over them, the probability of a successful resolution is greater. In other words, sometimes you need to let the other person “come to you” and once they do, you will likely gain, to some degree, their “affections.”
Again, all this is common sense, but that doesn’t mean people often follow it. Sometimes taking a step back will get you a lot further in the long run.